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Save us from “lifestyles!” A modest proposal for Va.’s AG

08-ktc-floor-speech-portraitDon’t you just hate the redheaded lifestyle?  All those pigtails and freckles — that attitude that says “We’re one in 50 and so, so special.” Makes me want to gag.

Ditto for diabetics and their nasty little needles. Don’t they notice kids could be watching?

Finally, and then I’ll stop: Old People. Excuse me, Senior Citizens. Please, somebody: take them off our streets and let them drive their silly golf carts at their retirement homes — far away from the rest of us. 

Fortunately, I’m not alone in my disgust of alternative lifestyles. I have an ally in Ken Cuccinelli, the attorney general of Virginia. This month, as you may know, Cuccinelli sent letters to every Virginia public university saying they could no longer include sexual orientation in their anti-discrimination policies because, in his view, the authority to add protected groups rests solely with the state legislature. And luckily, our ever-vigilant Virginia General Assembly has defeated attempts to include gay people in state nondiscrimination policies 25 times since 1997 — a record we can all be proud of.

Now there’s some question over whether the attorney general really has this kind of power over the universities, which have long been allowed — too long, some of us say — to go their own way regarding their antidiscrimination policies. In fact, as one letter-writer to The Washington Post pointed out last week, the University of Virginia, Virginia Tech, and some other state universities have also include veterans as a protected class!

So, I’m guessing that even if these schools’ policies did not protect gays and their lifestyle, Cuccinelli would have just as zealously gone after veterans and theirs. (A good thing, too. Because, admit it, Iraq is old news; and this Greatest Generation thing is getting a bit stale.)

But it’s not the veterans’ lifestyle that concerns The Family Foundation, a Virginia advocacy group that strongly supports Cuccinelli. It’s “government recognition — acceptance — of the homosexual lifestyle.”

Fortunately, we have a graphic representation of that lifestyle on display in the Post recently in the form of a front-page photo of a longtime gay couple getting married in the District of Columbia, each holding one of their pre-school-age daughters. (Haven’t they heard of foster care?)

Of course, the university types are fighting back, claiming that, without specific nondiscrimination policies, Virginia’s nationally acclaimed public colleges could potentially lose hundreds of talented professors and students. Excuse me? Make that: hundreds of talented professors and students who follow the gay and/or veterans’ lifestyle.

A small price to pay for Virginia’s families.

Lawrence Hardy, Senior Editor

Naomi Dillon|March 11th, 2010|Categories: American School Board Journal, Governance, Policy Formation|Tags: , , , , |

Comments

  1. Chuck Kleymeyer says:

    Dear Lawrence Hardy,

    I am incensed by your thoughtless column! My own brother is left-handed, and I want to know why you left (no pun intended…) those sinister (no French pun intended…) lefties out of your pro-discrimination screed. I’ll bet you’re red-headed yourself and you secretly wanted to hog all the anti feelings just for you. Probably makes you feel special to be singled out.

    By the way, VA Attorney General Cuccinelli has a last name ending in a VOWEL! Does that mean he or his parents are IMMIGRANTS to this great nation of native English speakers? Does he have a valid birth certificate proving he is a fully-legal Virginian? Has he seen the weathered signs in the State Capitol that read “NO ITALIANS NEED APPLY”? Has he checked the college and university policies on people with swarthy complexions and five-o’clock shadows? (Just look at his photo, above!).

    Listen, it is my God-given right for every single Virginian to look and behave just like me. No exceptions. And no coddling of any young folks who vary from my norm. Let’s keep Virginia pure.

    P.S. Thanks for listening. And thanks for writing your thoughtful and humorous column!

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